dirty sms jokes(18)

** Boy: R rats giving u trouble?
Girl: No.
Boy:They, U must hav a nice pussy!

**A boy walks up to a girl and says
can we play *disappear*?
she says:what's that?
Boy replies:we go to my place,
hav s*x n then we disappear.

**Sky is blue, Pickles are green, I love ur legs & whats in between!

**who is senior: penis or vagina????
ans: vagina.
ofcourse, penis always stands up when saw a vagina.so respect the senior.

**On a First night,
a nervous Husband tells his Wife 'Im just 4Ft 6 inches! & ur..?'
Wife: 'Forget the 4ft.Lets Concentrate on the 6 inches!

**If u define a married women as a polo:- a mint with a hole.. how would u define a virgin.
ans:CENTRE FRESH.

**Bob:Who is the best goalkeeper ?
johnny-A woman
Bob-why ?
Johnny-Because, whichever way you fu*k her, the balls just won't go in.

** Govt. of America has introduced a new rule:
"Good Looking people should be thrown out of the country!!!"
You are safe....Where should i hide?????

**A pop dancer was dancing and audience Clapped Fully.
Then she removed top... more clap.
Then she removed bra...more clap.
Suddenly, she removed her Panty but No clap!
She asked manager- what happened? He said with one hand People can't clap.

** A Maths teacher asked a student to write 55.
Student asked: How?
Teacher: Write 5 and beside it another 5!
The student wrote 5 and stopped.

**What's the difference between PANTIES of 1960 And 2007 ?
Ans:..... u have to seprate the panties to see HIPS ....but... now u have to seprate hips to see panties .

**Robert: Did you father help your mother with your homework?
Suresh: No, he did it all by himself.

**Want to hear a dirty joke?
3 pigs jumped in mud.
Want to hear a clean joke?
They took a bath.

** If U think there is gud in everybody, you haven't met everybody.

**Man: How much calcium is there in woman's Breasts?
Woman: Woman's Breasts have enough calcium to help a Man's boneless thing standup!

** 3 rats are being chased by a cat. The rats were cornered when one of it turned around and barked, "Ruff! Ruff! Ruff!" The surprised cat ran away scared. Later when the rat told their mother what happened, she smiled and said, "You see, it pays to be bilingual!"

**A Cricket commentator describing her nude girl friend.....
There is no cover, there is no extra cover, there 2 silly points, 2 fine legs & a deep gully, with little grass on the pitch.

**Man:y did u make women so beautiful?
God: So that you will love them.
Man:But why did U make them so dumb?
God:So that they will love U.